What you want to see?
What you don't want to see?
What you can see?
What you cannot see?
What you don't see?
What you want to see?
What you don't want to see?
What you can see?
What you cannot see?
An elderly lady was having her muffin and coffee at a cafe when a younger lady walked in.
The young lady saw that the table adjoined to table the old lady was sitting at was empty.
She asked her if the table was occupied.
The old lady replied, "No."
The lady then asked, "Do you mind if you move your table out?", while gesturing her to separate the two tables.
She then proceed to shift the table while the old lady was still seated.
The old lady was shocked.
A small stone and a big stone both drop from a 300 meters building at the same time.
Which stone will hit the ground first?
A bat and ball cost $1.10.
The bat costs one dollar more than the ball.
How much does the ball cost?
A lady bought some chillies from a vegetable stall in the market.
It costs 30 cents.
The smallest note she has in her wallet was $10.
She told the lady owner, "I only got $10 note. I'll leave the chillies here and go and buy eggs so that I can have smaller notes."
The owner replied, "Just take it first. It's only 30 cents and not $300."
The lady bought her eggs and went back to pay the owner.
A COO joined another company as CEO.
He implemented a reward program from his old company at the new company.
The staff are happy now they have a reward which they never had before.
Send email like you're sending letter.
Use ballpoint like you're using powerpoint.
Change your gadgets like you're replacing the toilet bowl.
Adopt new technology only when it really makes you less busy.
A Hong Kong couple with a daughter pushed their luggage into the packed train cabin during the morning rush hour.
They talked between themselves while looking and pointing at the train map on the reel above the door.
The lady turned to ask a passenger engrossed with his phone if they were on the right direction towards the airport.
The guy told them they have to get on the train going on the opposite direction.
He then told them they have to get off the train at the next stop and go to the opposite side.
The problem is that the doors open in the other side of the train at the next station and crossing to the opposite as advised by him would take them even further away from the airport.
Another passenger saw that the guy has given them the wrong information and advised them to go up one level at the next station and take the train on the same side that goes in the opposite direction.
After they exited, the first passenger turned to the second passenger and said, "I never alight at this station. So I don't know need to go up one level."
The gold medal winner, the silver medal winner or the bronze medal winner?
You changed your mind.
The fruit section is too far.
You are too lazy or tired to walk back.
The queue at cashier is too long.
You are in a hurry.
The staff will put it back to the right place when he or she sees it.
Would you have question the prices of the sausages if you do not see the price tag on the watermelon?
A bespectacled man in his early thirties came to a McDonald with a boy about three to four year old.
He sat the boy down and asked, "You want corn and french fries?"
He queued and returned with his order in less than five minutes.
The boy took the cup with the corn inside and opened it.
The cup slipped off his hands and the kernels spilled all over the table and the floor.
An elderly staff who happened to be sweeping the floor at the next table saw it.
She smiled at the boy and limped over with much difficulty.
The man picked up the kernels on the table into the cup.
He said to the kid, "Don't rush."
The staff bent forward tilting towards her right as she used her broom to reach underneath the table to clear the mess.
The man and the boy continued sitting there eating.
No apology from the man for the mess, if not from the kid.
Not bothered to stand aside to make it easier for the staff to sweep the floor.
A group of staff from different business units of a big company were attending a leadership course.
The trainer shared with them on the concept of time management.
He said there are stuff that are urgent and important, stuff that are not urgent but important, stuff that are urgent but not important and stuff that are not urgent and not important. As leaders, we have to know where we are spending most of our time on.
He went on to ask the trainees to give examples of stuff that are urgent and important.
A lady replied, "When my son is sick. That is urgent and important."
United Overseas Bank (UOB) made a copywriting mistake during launch of their diamond-studded UOB Reserve metal card for their high net worth customers.
In fact, it made two.
For those who are unaware, the bank has indicated on the plaque displaying the card as "for those who value exclusivity in it's most extinguished form."
The correct wordings should be "for those who value exclusivity in its most distinguished form."
This incident came to light when a Facebook user Mick Price shared a photo of it online.
Soon, it attracted lots of comments. Some joked that the bank was too stingy to engage a good copywriter. Some took a dig at the bank with the word extinguished.
The bank quickly apologized the next day and promised not to let such thing happens again.
The head of cards and payments at UOB Singapore, Ms Choo Wan Sim said the promotional text was printed for a table display at a private event last night. It was an oversight during their clearance process.
This is actually a very small matter as it didn't cause any serious harm to anyone.
As with any small mistake that can easily be rectified, the bank apologized and moved on as per standard operating procedure.
It's really those kind of thing where you get three seconds of infamous fame online. Very soon, most people are going to forget about this thing.
What we are not interested in is how such a big prestigious corporation can make such silly mistake, which unfortunately most do. We are not interested in what companies can do to prevent themselves from making such mistakes.
What's interesting is the behavior of the person who posted the photo online.
According to the bank's website, the UOB Reserve Card is issued to UOB Privilege Reserve wealth management service clients. To qualify for UOB Privilege Reserve, customers must maintain a minimum balance of S$2 million in deposits and/or investment. Membership is strictly by invitation only, with an annual fee.
Based on the photo uploaded by Mick, it does seem that he was one of the invited guest at the private event (see the dining ware behind the plaque) and he is a privileged customer of the bank.
As a privileged customer, he would enjoy special relationship with the bank.
Why then did he upload the photo which he knew would cause embarrassment to the bank? Did he upload it for that five minutes of fame? Why didn't he tell his relationship manager?
Did other guests at the event saw the mistakes as well? Would someone do the same as Mick? If no one spots the mistakes, does it mean the image the bank is trying to create is forgettable? Or perhaps no one read it except Mick?
Photo Source : Mick Price Facebook
A man was at a water cooler in a public place.
He let the water runs for a few minutes before filling up his plastic bottle.
Was he draining out the impurities from the funnel?
Something major happened in a business unit of a big company.
The CEO of the business unit wanted to manage the staff morale affected by the news.
She was overseas and relayed a message to the team of an important meeting to address the issue next week when she's back.
The meeting was then postponed to two weeks later.
The staff were thinking, "So the meeting is not important after all?"
A man was meeting his friend for buffet lunch at a hotel's restaurant.
They noticed three rows of tables of ten seats each and knew there's a reservation for a big group of guests.
As the group started streaming in, the man realized they are staff from his company's HR department.
Fortunately, he only knows one of the lady out of the group of almost thirty.
As these people walked to and fro getting their food, his friend noticed something.
They all looked very similar.
Their hairstyles were mostly straight and at shoulder length. Their clothes are either white, black or both. Clothing designs were similar with very little variation. Even the only printed blouse a lady was wearing was white and black. The way they walk, the way they talked and behave were also very similar.
His friend turned to the man and said jokingly "I don't think I can recognize anyone of them if I see them again. They all look so similar."