Are you a mother? Husband of your wife? A parent who ferry your kids for tuitions on weekend? 30 year old single working lady? A company's director? Head of a department? Running buddy to your colleagues? Ex-classmates? Ex-colleague?
These are roles that you play every day. And they define who you are at that point in time.
You play out various roles every day, in different places and stages of your life. You are the daughter of your parents. When you marry, you become someone's husband or wife. You are the director in office and become partner to your spouse at home. You are the supervisor of your department and a running buddy of your subordinates after work.
Are these roles that you play stopping you from being who you are?
Yesterday, I had buffet dinner at a hotel in Sentosa Island. This tiny island has become one of the more famous tourist's destination recently with the opening of Universal Studio Singapore in Resort World at Sentosa.
I arrived at 6:30pm and there were 6 Japanese tourists who just finished their dinner and leaving. And there were no customers after that. I wondered if we'll be the only customers for the night. The restaurant was so quiet except for the staff who were talking among themselves.
Though it was a nice change from the usual noisy crowd of buffet goers jostling for food, it wasn't that fun to be the only guests.
A good half hour passed before a couple walked in. Soon a Chinese man walked in followed by a English man.
I love watching people and so there's something for me to do, apart from just chatting with my dinner partner and eating.
It seemed the English man wasn't there for the buffet but was convinced by the receptionist who walked him through the spread. After all, it's a claypot seafood buffet and something different for him. Beats eating burger and fries all the times.
The last guests to arrive were an elderly English couple. They too were sold on the buffet. The receptionist went to the extent to help them select the ingredients to go into the claypot soup and served it to them. I noticed they were particularly interested in the popiah (spring roll) and ordered a second serving.
Then I saw the Englishman walking to the dessert station and was looking at the bowls of food on display. He looked confused. The chef wasn't around and there's nobody to help him.
I approached him and explained how to prepare the dessert to him. A while later, the English couple were at the same station with the same look on their faces. I did the same time except I made one for them this time.
The dessert was ice kachang or chendol. They are local desserts where you can add jelly, corn, red beans and top it off with shaved ice and syrups. If you add coconut sugar and coconut milk, you get chendol. If you add sweet colorings, you get ice kachang.
They probably have never seen this before. No wonder they are confused with all the different kinds of ingredients and syrups.
Looking back at this incident, I realized that if I'm fixated on my role, I could never have approached and helped them. I was a guest at the restaurant and it's not my job to help the restaurant's staff to serve other guests.
But I love interacting with people and enjoy seeing people having a good experience. That's who I am.
Likewise, if the receptionist thinks in the same way, she would never bothered to helped the English couple select the ingredients and served the dish to them.
So do not let the roles you play stop you from being who you are.
You have more fun and interesting experiences.